I wear them partly because they help me express the (locally, socially constructed) femininity that I feel. I also wear them partly because I have serious trouble tucking, and a flowy skirt is less of a problem than tights. Which is a shame, because my legs look fine in tights.
I wish my body were feminine enough,
I am only 3 months into medical transition, after 40 years in an enormous male body. I went out to appointments and ran errands in femme clothes (high waisted pants and flowy tops are fabulous) without makeup or a wig. When it’s your livelihood it’s different, but I just stopped caring. My doctor, my brilliant neurologist, my dermatologist are all trans women and they are going to work every day as their real selves. Why shouldn’t I?
I started making a big list with checkboxes on it. I added things like nicknames and “boymode” nicknames where they applied. Then I went down the list and checked off the ones I didn’t really like that much. Then I started saying them out loud one night, and my spouse would just say “no” to them and those were checked off the list. I have two left, now. I’m still open to suggestions from others, and I am asking people when I come out if they have suggestions. The hard part is that both of the names I like are either my spouse’s initials or my mother’s, and I can’t stand my mother. One day I’ll make the choice final, but I’m trying one of them out now. The clinic and hospital network I use has a field in my profile for “preferred name” and they actually use it, so it’s in there for now.
I know this struggle! I feel odd naming myself, but those close to me also refuse to offer a suggestion. They all say “that’s too personal a thing for me to choose in your place” or “I’m already bad at naming things so, no”. I suppose that I will have to hear it for the rest of my life, so I might as well like it!
Wait a minute, does that explain the HOTAS in my drawer? I don’t remember buying it. Or putting it there. But I do remember charging my Friendship Drive!
I wonder if I could mod the super cruise chromatic aberration to just be pink and blue? Or full of butterflies. That could be nice!
o7
Marathon runner and century cyclist here. You have no idea what tights do for the bulked legs. I go from quadzilla to thick thighs saving lives and it’s glorious.