My mother in law.
I’ve replaced the celery in the raw celery recipe with pizza. Why am I not losing weight?
It says 10 calories per serving! What gives!?
Who the fuck substitutes mayo for heavy cream?
Hey, they’re both thick and white. And eggs are dairy too!
It’s like that Marie Callender Pie incident lol
There’s a sub for this on the other site, called “Didn’tHaveEggs”. It’s funny as.
Thank you. It was one of my favorite subs but I couldn’t remember the name.
Damn I must’ve missed out on that one on other site
funny as what
as
Funny as fuck. The last word is implied.
I must’ve done the fucking wrong if it’s supposed to be funny.
“as” is short for “as shit” it’s like “af” but instead it’s “as”
Either way we’re having a good time.
Carrots have way too much sugar?? To go in a cake?? Wut
What’s wrong honey? You haven’t finished your kale cake.
Kace
Kake, by KDE
Kacke - which is coincidentally a German word that describes the look and taste of said cake very well.
In my grandparents’ region (south-east of France), there’s a traditional pie made with leafy greens: tourte de blettes, that is to say “chard pie”.
My grandmother calls it tourte d’herbes (“herb pie”), it’s very good, there’s definitely sugar in it!
As someone in IT people do the same thing. Specifically as a favor I managed to get a crappy Samsung on a up to date version of LineageOS (through a GSI). For some reason it had a very specific problem that you cant do recovery though the OS so I installed teamwin. I tell this person “ok this phone isnt secure, dont put info on it. Also dont reset through LineageOS”. Well guess what, he did that anway and I ofc fixed it.
Oh my god, GSIs. I used a phone with a GSI for a month. More than that would just make me kill myself.
I’m guilty of this. For my pesto recipe I replaced pine nuts with peanuts, olive oil with sunflower oil, basil with spinach, cheese with nooch, but kept the salt, pepper, garlic and citric acid. It’s not exactly pesto anymore at that point, but for a struggle meal it could be a lot worse.
What in the poverty is “nooch”? Also, peanuts have too much flavor and spinach too little compared to their counterparts. I can’t even imagine what that tasted likeWhat in the poverty is “nooch”? Along with the rest that just sounds like sour garlic peanut butter. No thank you.
Well those ingredients are way more similar to eachother than “eggs and mashed banana”
Only if you replaced the peanuts with raisins, the basil with pine needles and the olive oil with teriyaki sauce would you have a case for being guilt to this degree.
Ah, but did you then complain that the recipe was bad?
Seeing as I was frankensteining the recipe from several sources, I wouldn’t even know where to complain if I had wanted to, so no.
I wouldn’t even know where to complain if I had wanted to
gold
Technically what you made very well could still be “Pesto”, since the word refers to how it’s prepared not what’s in it (shares the same root as Pestle). The basil, pine nut, olive oil, and cheese recipe you were following would be Pesto alla Genovese
Well that’s explains why supermarket “Pesto” is allowed to be completely devoid if olive oil. I hate it so much, it tastes wildly different with sunflower oil than with olive oil.
Like it’s definitely a different thing, but it’s the same general concept, gonna have a wildly different flavor but fill the same kind of culinary niche.
Replacing carrot with kale in a freaking carrot cake is like replacing basil with potatoes.
There are worse ways to riff on a recipe, I don’t know what nooch is but the rest at least sounds like possible replacements. You’re right it wouldn’t be pesto, but I don’t think I’d hate it.
Nooch is nutritional yeast. It’s probably the most expensive ingredient in the recipe hah, but it goes a long way. Even though I’m not vegan, I’ve dabbled with vegan substitutions and nutritional yeast was probably the best part of that journey.
Carrots having way too much sugar is wild to me. Like what do you eat except kale?
I mean, carrots do have a lot of sugar as vegetables go, but it’s like 5% sugar by weight. If you’re cutting out stuff with that low of a ratio, you’re probably taking a low sugar diet a bit far.
I wouldn’t eat a raw carrot either unless I’m looking for a sugar shock but this is like one ingredient of a cake, a fucking CAKE!! What else did you supplement?
I wouldn’t eat a raw carrot either unless I’m looking for a sugar shock
Are you literally out of your mind? Sugar shock from A CARROT??
Are you sure you’re not confusing “a raw carrot“ with “a big bag of candy”? It’s a common mistake in some cultures, I bet 🤷
I’m not an expert on that but I’m pretty sure I was joking
Upon further consideration as well as evaluation of your supplementary information, I have concluded that you were in fact joking.
I have furthermore decided that your joke was funny and that I’m a bit of a doofus for going all in on my “they’re super serial” hypothesis.
Have a lovely day 😁
serial like serial killer or dr. house?
Traditionally carrots were used as the main sweetener in carrot cake. Something developed during lean times when honey, fruits and sugar weren’t available. So assuming this person was looking for a “low sugar cake” recipe, they may have found a carrot cake recipe that only used carrots for sweetening.
… and then they removed the carrots to reduce the sugar content further. So yah it’s going to be an awful cake if there is zero sweetness in it. Like, just make a savory baked good at that point.
Carrots as sweetner is sad…
More kale
They’re making a cake, you don’t want sugar in cake!
Red kale is actually kinda sweet
One of the few things I miss on Reddit is a sub called “Ididnthaveeggs” or something like that. Basically a whole sub of the bonkers substitutions people have done. It was always a good read.
Honestly one of my favorite subs ever. Would be nice if we had that one here
1/5 stars
I didn’t have sugar, butter, vanilla, or baking powder, and I substituted the milk with cheddar cheese. Also, I don’t have an oven, so I just used a frying pan on the stove top. It turned into an omelet! Would not recommend this cake recipe.
7/11 with rice
I tried to make fried eggs but I didn’t have eggs so I replaced them with ice cream.
0/10 hot ice cream soup isn’t fried eggs!!
How did I know about that sub! I love hearing about those idiots
How did i not know about that sub? I would love hearing those idiots
So in cooking, I tend to do this sort of thing all the time, but not in a dumb way - for example, when I roast a chicken, if I want a more Asian spin on it, I’d sub out my usual herbs de Provence + fresh parsley/sage/rosemary/thyme for chili crisp, ginger, sambal olek, minced Thai basil, and a bit of cilantro, or something like that.
But in baking, there’s actual chemistry involved with almost everything, so you do not want to fuck with that unless you actually know what you’re doing…
Also I’m so shy to ask the author from explanation when I change a little thing. I know I’m not an expert so maybe for this recipe preheating my oven was actually very important…
But at the same time there’s a difference between making an informed/educated guess on a valid swap vs what these people are doing, which is one short step from “I didn’t have cinnamon sticks so I got some sticks from the tree outside my house”
I asked you for directions to Santa Monica but I decided to drive to the Mojave instead and there was NO BEACH AND NO OCEAN.
2/5 stars, wouldn’t recommend Santa Monica
any site worth their salt would remove these reviews as they aren’t based off the product posted since they subbed items
“I tried playing my DOOM: The Dark Ages copy for Xbox but I don’t own an Xbox so I put the disk in my Nintendo 64. The game didn’t even launch wtf this game sucks”
You forgot the bit where they cut the disk so it would fit in the slot, and are also upset that the store won’t return it anymore.
They substituted the salt with nutritional yeast.
0/10, tasted like floury paste.
I’m really loving the last one there. Somehow “shots” is their preferred unit of measure. Most cookies don’t have any liquid ingredients, either, so milk is kind of a wild addition. Then they blame the recipe for being chunky, which I assume is due to the banana that they did a shit job of mashing. The cherry on top is that there is a rating out of five stars at the top (looks like they gave five stars?), but then they throw in a rating out of ten at the bottom. Should have given a thumbs up rating, but I assume the thumbs are busy in their ass.
Sugar is a liquid ingredient
The fuck kind of sugar are you using?
Hey since no one apparently answered you:
In baking, you typically have “dry” ingredients and “wet” ingredients.
Sugar is considered a wet ingredient in the world of baking. In chemistry parlance, it’s hygroscopic so it is mixed with other wet ingredients before adding the dry ingredients.
Gatekeeping is whack. It took me 60 seconds to give you the real answer.
Everything can be a liquid with the appropriate conditions.
I do love me some supercritical sourdough bread
I can see you’re not a baker
No, Dr. “Rather than explaining a patently ridiculous statement, I’m going to make a second vague statement in an effort to make other people feel stupid for kicks”, I’m not a professional baker. I’m a chemistry teacher.
So, since “I can see you’re not a chemist” (see how pretentiously shitty that sounds?) and you are apparently just about as good at following recipes as the numbskulls here, let me teach you something: while you may be in your baker’s la-la-land with your hard-won recipes and art, if you used simple syrup (or as you call it “liquid sugar”, Chef Cordon-Bleu-At-Home) in ANY of the recipes here (or virtually any online mass-consumption recipe, I have yet to find even one that calls for it) instead of actual sugar, your shitty cookies would be more runny than Yoda’s diarrhea in the swamps of Dagobah.
Now, either let’s see a common recipe made for lay-people that calls for simple syrup in cookies, or kindly fuck off with your sanctimonious gatekeeping pretense.
Not sure why the person you’re replying to is refusing to explain. Assuming they’re not a TOTAL idiot, I’d guess they’re alluding to a baking rule of thumb for mixing order. Maybe they learned this rule but they don’t actually understand it well enough to talk about it?
Generally, you include sugar with the “wet” ingredients while baking. It’s a timing thing, it tends to incorporate better and dissolve a little if you mix it with your butter, oil, milk, eggs, etc. Once that’s all mixed in you add your “dry” ingredients like flour and baking soda / powder. Those are easy to over mix so you add them last minute.
Sugar is not a liquid ingredient, it’s just a rule of thumb, the person you’re replying to is being annoying.
🙄
What on earth do these people think recipes are
Suggestions, clearly.
They kind of are if you understand what role these ingredients play and why. I was able to make an easy substitution in an oatmeal cookie recipe because the nuts I was adding were primarily bulk as was the oats so the substitution worked out fine. If, on the other hand, I replaced oats with more raisins that might not have worked because the raisins would add more moisture.
You can replace like for like provided they are doing the same job
They kind of are if you understand what role these ingredients play and why.
“If”
