There may be an order of magnitude more options, but an unfortunate amount of them were either raised wrong, or peer pressured into being terrible. The worst men are the ones who will seek you out the most, while people will healthy views on relationships are hard to sort from the sea of shitheads. Misogynistic bros raised on Andrew Tate who are sometimes good at hiding their worst impulses until after you get involved.

It’s like there is a certain gendered wall that exists in straight dating that is far less pronounced in queer dating. Even a straight relationship between queer people has more mutual understanding. It’s not like abuse doesn’t happen in queer relationships, but there’s a culturally reinforced understanding of gender roles that makes it hard to feel secure.