Okay I’m choosing violence on this one so downvote away if you must. This is not an American thing, it’s a patriarchy thing. We are conditioned and constantly reinforced with the idea that sex is about subjugation and not intimacy in our language and culture. All my life I’ve heard phrases like “suck my dick/balls” used as an insult across all genders and then when I am expected to perform such acts in the context of a loving relationship my brain outright refuses to associate that with an act of love and my partner acts all surprise Pikachu about it. The patriarchy and our common language insists that sex is bad at the detriment and isolation of everyone. Men in particular are isolated and conditioned to never give/receive love or even recognize their emotions with the only consolation being that they are given permission to subjugate women. And so the culture persists through our own unwitting actions as people are impeded from ever fully connecting with each other in perfect love and perfect trust. It’s shit like this that keeps the patriarchy in control and us under control.
I must say not ever, not even once in my life have i experienced any sexual act i have done to anyone as an act of “subjugation” or “control”. I do absolutely not get what other people keep rambling about when they say these things.
“Get fucked”, “Go fuck yourself”, “Blow me”, “Eat my ass”, so many along a similar vein I never considered. Great write-up; I’ll never think about those things the same way again.
Go fuck yourself always sounds pretty non-gendered to me. The implication is the same: go away and masturbate because nobody (and most definitely not me) wants to be near you. Now there is an argument on whether masturbation by itself (hah) is painted as inherently bad, but I’d argue it works more through the social layer.
Great write up, this highlights how powerful the way we use language can be, and why it’s important to consider the words and vocabulary we choose.
The way we use language affects the way we think, it reframes topics and normalizes ideas.
Patriarchal expressions are what we call “loaded”, similar to how calling an immigrant “alien” strips them of their humanity, or using the terms “blacklist” and “whitelist” reinforces “white good, black bad”.
Loaded language can be used accidentally, or strategically to convey a particular emotion, and language can equally be unloaded, such as in the case of “letting go” instead of “firing”, or “passed away” instead of “died”, it distances the concept from the underlying emotion.
I’d just like to step on the soapbox for one quick, tangential message. Considering the power vocabulary has to influence perception, I’d advise against using the terms “elite” and" elitist," in regards to the wealthy and their habits.
From their perspective, such phrasing validates their status above the rest of us and casually implies that we agree that we’re inferior to them. Consider a more apt term for describing them, like “the parasite class,” “the 1%,” or “guillotine-fodder.”
Okay I’m choosing violence on this one so downvote away if you must. This is not an American thing, it’s a patriarchy thing. We are conditioned and constantly reinforced with the idea that sex is about subjugation and not intimacy in our language and culture. All my life I’ve heard phrases like “suck my dick/balls” used as an insult across all genders and then when I am expected to perform such acts in the context of a loving relationship my brain outright refuses to associate that with an act of love and my partner acts all surprise Pikachu about it. The patriarchy and our common language insists that sex is bad at the detriment and isolation of everyone. Men in particular are isolated and conditioned to never give/receive love or even recognize their emotions with the only consolation being that they are given permission to subjugate women. And so the culture persists through our own unwitting actions as people are impeded from ever fully connecting with each other in perfect love and perfect trust. It’s shit like this that keeps the patriarchy in control and us under control.
I must say not ever, not even once in my life have i experienced any sexual act i have done to anyone as an act of “subjugation” or “control”. I do absolutely not get what other people keep rambling about when they say these things.
nah, you’re spitting facts 🔥
… but I like being humiliated a 'lil tho
(Seriously, very insightful)
I guess it’s true that things like eating a woman out, fingering a woman, and scissoring don’t have the “-job” suffix.
“Get fucked”, “Go fuck yourself”, “Blow me”, “Eat my ass”, so many along a similar vein I never considered. Great write-up; I’ll never think about those things the same way again.
Go fuck yourself always sounds pretty non-gendered to me. The implication is the same: go away and masturbate because nobody (and most definitely not me) wants to be near you. Now there is an argument on whether masturbation by itself (hah) is painted as inherently bad, but I’d argue it works more through the social layer.
Great write up, this highlights how powerful the way we use language can be, and why it’s important to consider the words and vocabulary we choose.
The way we use language affects the way we think, it reframes topics and normalizes ideas.
Patriarchal expressions are what we call “loaded”, similar to how calling an immigrant “alien” strips them of their humanity, or using the terms “blacklist” and “whitelist” reinforces “white good, black bad”.
Loaded language can be used accidentally, or strategically to convey a particular emotion, and language can equally be unloaded, such as in the case of “letting go” instead of “firing”, or “passed away” instead of “died”, it distances the concept from the underlying emotion.
I’d just like to step on the soapbox for one quick, tangential message. Considering the power vocabulary has to influence perception, I’d advise against using the terms “elite” and" elitist," in regards to the wealthy and their habits.
From their perspective, such phrasing validates their status above the rest of us and casually implies that we agree that we’re inferior to them. Consider a more apt term for describing them, like “the parasite class,” “the 1%,” or “guillotine-fodder.”
You have seen though all the bullshit. Very very well said.
preach <3 <3
Very well put argument.
Amen.