Lovable Sidekick

Next step: define sperms as fetuses

To be fair, the name “X” was already taken and Max Diddy doesn’t roll off the tongue.

They won’t kill us all, just the ones dumb enough to believe reverting to the pre-science era to reinforce political beliefs is a good idea.

Like most con men, RFK is using people’s ignorance of what odds mean. If the chance of getting sick from swimming in that water is only say one percent, he knows the odds are extremely good that he won’t individually get sick, and then he will palm this off as “evidence” that it’s all a big fuss over nothing. The park service might know maybe 100,000 people will swim in that water this season, so they’ll probably save about a thousand from getting sick by closing the place. Even if somebody who does get sick manages to get the attention of a news outlet, they can be scoffed at as an anomaly. “How do you even know the water was responsible? Where else have you been? You’re just looking for attention!”

“Roger, alpha bravo, initiating IP address trace…”