oh dude, my brother and sister in law have this story they like to tell about me where they abandoned their three year old child at a park because they expected me to be there. they never contacted me about watching or caring for their kid, i just busked there every other thursday. i had a doctor’s appointment so i wasn’t there. the way they tell it, i’m the villain (their neighbor found their child wandering around the park and brought them home. apparently i’m at fault for being 30 miles away the entire time) but, uh, they really like the story.

my brother does not know why his circle of friends keeps shrinking.